I wannas sexs uuuuu
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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