I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
