youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
