It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
