To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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