Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
