I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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