I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
