so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
