Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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