i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
