Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
