we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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