If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
