i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
