I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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