kristin has been a bad kristin
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
