fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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