she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
