So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
