I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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