Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
