she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
wow bdsm is so cute
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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