Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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