her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
