Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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