hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
