There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
