Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
