2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize