he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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