the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will be naked everywhere
How external is "for external use only"?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
