You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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