I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
