I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
