I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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