Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
