Have you finally orgasmed yet?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
