we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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