I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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