Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
