I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
