She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
