Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
