How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
