3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i jhust puked up my retainher.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize