I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
