Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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