i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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