He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
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It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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