Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow