Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS