I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse