Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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