things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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