i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
