I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize