Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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