he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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