Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
