Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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