Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
