you're like a bully in the Christmas story
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
