u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
