singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
