dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
tell me about the eggs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
