So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
