it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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